Likes Shiny Things

i post things here.

2009-03-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

for better or for worse.
because i'm lazy.

Twitter

Touching...

2008-06-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

It's true, this blog is practically defunct. To be honest, a dead dog is a tough act to follow. But seeing as I'm in bed, sick, yet again, and have found something lovely, I will preserve it here, and maybe my mom will remember I have a blog someday and enjoy the link...

The Ones We Love is a site that allows amateur photographers to submit six photos of the person they love most, and the results are suprisingly not cloying or superficial. The best part, in my opinion, is the short introduction the photographer has included before his/her set. Their descriptions range from the youthfully idealistic ("Justin is my soulmate") to the comically bitter ("Although perhaps we were meant to be together, he was too stupid") - sentiments I can certainly relate to. There are photos of mothers, best friends, sisters, and lovers - it is a compendium of the beloved, and worth a few hours of surfing around.

The saddest day.

2008-03-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

Rest in peace, Madalyn.

A brief, nonsensical, cellphone photoblog regarding my past two weeks.

2008-02-25T10:54:00.001-08:00

Koreans in the house. And they come bearing candy.

Plump Dumpling

"Pooh - The Sort of Bear Who's Always There"

Elbow Toe strikes again

Umbrellas are cumbersome.

The Arid Plain

We're from Colorado.

Thank you.

Always depending on the kindness of strangers...

2008-02-25T10:18:00.000-08:00

"We've had this date with each other from the beginning." - Stanley Kowalski, A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams

A list

2008-02-01T07:07:00.000-08:00

These things are good:

1. The new Yohji Yamamoto store at 13th and Gansevoort - Has anybody else seen it??? Amazing, triangular, covered in windows and filled with light. They just started filling it with product, but even (especially?) empty, it is the hot sex. Pictures of terrible quality, taken on my cellphone, to come.

2. Wearing corduroys today - they go sqweh! sqweh! when I walk.

3. Hayden - recommended to me by an indisputable Canadian rock superstar. Listen on myspace here , because I'm too lazy to do anything but link. Gives me the strangely acute desire to be in the Pacific Northwest. Listen, you'll see. Rainandtreesandflannel.

4. Did someone say Rain?! Curious thing, coming from Colorado, where there is 15 inches of precipitation annually - I thought rain in winter was impossible. When cold = snow. But I've come to appreciate any excuse to wear wellies, and I refuse to carry an umbrella. But if I did, I'd call it a brolly, like a Brit. And I'd take it to City Hall, Gov'na, whilst wearing a Mac.

Redecorating.

2008-01-28T21:40:00.000-08:00

guh-DAMMIT, downstairs neighbor! Are you Rearranging Furniture at this late hour??? Seriously? I mean, with the MOANING, and the CLATTERING??? Must this be done right now???
Trust me, I know you've had questionable judgement before - I've seen you on rollerblades! - but now is NOT the time to relocate the armoire.
Eesh, that did NOT sound good. Did you sprain something? That sounded inhuman - like a dying animal! You should probably get to a doctor, post-haste.
Tell your lady friend I say "hey."

is my copilot.

2008-01-28T20:01:00.000-08:00

If you're reading this blog, you most definitely know me, and you also must acknowledge that I'm nothing if not sporadic. Case in point: this blog.
But! What I lack in consistency, I make up for in...

DOG PICTURES!!!!!11

AIRPLANE EARS!!! Meet Emily (don't you love it when dogs have human names??) She's at the North Shore Animal League, the world's largest no-kill animal shelter (says so on the site!). Go do yourself, the world, and me a favor and adopt her or one of her cellmates. Be warned - I will stalk you and your newly adopted friend.
And don't forget:

Older gals, like Penny here, need homes, too. Couldn't you use a classy, older dame in your home, keeping you in line?
To find shelters in your area (rescue dogs are the ONLY dogs!), go to Petfinder.com

On my honor, I will try

2008-01-11T20:29:00.000-08:00

Like many young girls, I was Brownie. No, not a chocolately confection, silly, but a Girl Scout in training, dressed like a short, skinny cafe latte and armed to the teeth with a sashful of badges. It was a blissful time. My mother was the troop leader. We whittled sticks together. No one cared that we had to say "God" in the pledge. We learned about wildlife. Thin mints.
Imagine my joyous nostalgia, then, when I spied the following at the Chelsea Flea Market:

The Brownie Handbook instructs that the pin remain inverted until the scout performs her Good Deed of the Day. Once her civic duty is completed, the Brownie may reattach the pin right-side up to indicate that her title is well deserved.
It also makes for a nifty accessory.
For two dollars, you can't beat that with a whittled stick.
New pins available online at GirlScouts.Org

Boys make passes at girls who have glasses

2008-01-10T21:08:00.000-08:00

Few things excite a lady like stemware. I don't know - I've heard rumors about diamonds (OMG!), but nothing really compares to the unique delight of buying some fragile, sparkly glasses. Candy!*

Rigi glass from Bodum, $15
Because vintage stemware is so ridiculously expensive here in NY (dicks), I was agog over the new stemware choices for the season compiled by New York magazine. A lot of vintage flair, and most without the retro-tarded price tag.
Designgasm! Go buy four or forty. You never know when a rabid pack of thirsty aesthetes might drop in...
*DO NOT EAT

confession

2008-01-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

As an ambivalent agnostic (that is, ambivalent even about my own agnosticism), I usually have no interest in confessing my sins, as I tend to regard sinning as wholly subjective.

That said, I feel kind of bad about berating that old lady tonight.

But she was totally asking for it. Nasty old coot.

My return from noblogsland.

2008-01-06T14:41:00.000-08:00

Wowee zowee, what a year. I moved across a country and began my indentured servitude in Corporateworld (tm), thus abandoning all artistic/extracurricular pursuits in favor of being a responsible adult.
It turns out, there's no such thing!
So I'm back to blogging. In 2008, I vow to increase blogtivity, amuse and delight (myself), and most importantly, include more photos of dogs.
Tail wags!
Jess

Eureka!

2006-12-16T22:23:00.000-08:00

Okay. I'm really excited about this. This may be the best idea I've ever had.

So.

You know how sometimes, you really want to have a snowball fight, but maybe it's not winter? Or you just don't want to find your other glove? Perhaps the idea appeals to you, but the cold, unpleasant reality of snow repels you?

Why not have a SnoBall(tm) fight?!?!!!

Bring it.

Tell Your Children Not to Walk My Way

2006-12-10T16:37:00.000-08:00

Ah, I remember climbing that stage for the first time, full of trepidation and a pint of Guinness, my vocal cords anxious and tight. I'd been convinced by some aging metalhead to participate in a duet. I plead my naivete: "I'm not sure, I've never done this before...," but was narrowly convinced by his promise: "You'll be fine. You can choose the song. Any song."
So it happened that for my first stab at karaoke, I sang "Mother" by Danzig.
It was glorious.
Needless to say, I almost lost control of my bladder when I first saw these:

The Three Faces of Danzig collectible dolls.
Perfection.
You've got your old school Misfits Danzig; the blood-drenched tribute to the "Samhain" album cover Danzig; and the man-beast who brought you "Mother," just plain Glenn Danzig.
At $70 dollars a pop, these Japanese-made dolls don't come cheap, but I can think of one girl who would be ecstatic to find one under her Christmukkah tree. (HINT: It's me!)
Get'm here: The 7th House

Why Japanese schoolchildren are smarter than you.

2006-12-03T20:58:00.000-08:00

Pitagora Suicchi.

This is a compilation of Rube Goldberg devices that were created as transitions between segments of a puppet show. Called "Pitagora Suicchi," or "Pythagorean Switch," the Japanese children's show has been airing since 2002 on Japan's equivalent to PBS (NHK). It's mesmerizing. I could watch it all day.
Ok, as a girl who grew up with a friendly vampire teaching me how to count, I feel cheated.
On a tangentially related note, remember when Shaquille O'Neal proclaimed that his game was "like the Pythagorean Theorem - no one has an answer"? Sigh.

In case of emergency, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device.

2006-11-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

Just happened upon this very creepy photo essay of the Titanic, with pictures taken as she embarked on her maiden, and only, voyage.

Is it just my own colored hindsight, or is there something particularly sinister looking about this ship?
The photographs were taken by an Irish theology student, Frank Brown. He was there expressly to document only the first leg of the voyage, from England to Ireland. An American millionaire generously offered to pay for Frank to continue on to New York, but his Jesuit superiors would not allow it.
In addition to photos of the Titanic, documents and news clippings related to the disaster are chronicled in the essay. Go look; be fascinated.
Titanic Photographs

Making me happy!

2006-11-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

These random things are keeping me happy, lately. Donations of such items are graciously accepted. You don't want to see me unhappy, do you?

This is probably a boy thing, but I was never very good at gender roles, anyway. Don't read into that.

Molton Brown Recharge Black Pepper Body Wash.
It's spicy. Makes me happy in the morning. Or whenever I get around to showering.
Molton Brown

The latest entry under the topic of Canadian Music Wins:

Tokyo Police Club! If you're anything like me, you'll be dancing around your house in your undies to it. I hope you don't know where I live. Kinda reminds me of Les Savy Fav for some reason, but more dancetastic.
allmusic.com

Um, yeah, so, I really like the graphic design of this can. Yeeahh, my purchase of this product has nothing to do with how I sometimes put off showering... It IS a really cool can.
drugstore.com

Like dystopian tales? 1984? Brave New World?

Yevgeny Zamyatin was envisioning our sordid future long before, in the 1920's. Sadly, neither George Orwell nor Aldous Huxley recognized him as an influence, although it was clear that he was the originator of the genre. I'm actually revisiting this book after reading it several years ago, and it's every bit as good as I remembered.
amazon.com

This wouldn't be a list of Things That Keep Jess Happy without a mention of booze.

The other night, I had a very unique glass of wine - Emilio Bulfon Piculit Neri. This specific grape was thought to be extinct until an old man found it growing in his backyard a few years ago. The Bulfon Winery began to cultivate it, and now it has matured into a really amazing, dry derivitave of Pinot Noir. The grape is particularly small, so the first sip will knock you out with it's intensity. Thanks to Burton at the Kitchen for the tutelage on my new wine fixation.
The Corkscrew

You can thank me later for increasing your level of happiness, too.

!!!

2006-11-15T12:21:00.000-08:00

As an unemployed young slacker, one of my favorite hobbies is bothering friends who have jobs while they're at work. One worker bee I can always count on for entertainment is my friend Natalie. She's a junior architect in New York, and her quirky sense of humor never fails to amuse and amaze.
So, I was excited when I got an instant message from Natalie yesterday, in the middle of her work day.

Natalie: You won't believe what I got at lunch today.
(I'm thinking, uh, a burrito. Maybe a really delicious burrito.)
Natalie: I'm going to send you a picture. Wait a sec while I scan it.
(Now I'm thinking, she went to H&M during her break again and got a new shirt. Whoopee.)

I am clearly unimaginative.
Because after a few minutes, this is what she sent me:

Look closer.

Those are taxidermied kittens, poised for a tea party.

Somebody sells postcards of this.

As it turns out, it's the incredibly creepy work of Walter Potter, who has been lovingly dubbed "one of the founding fathers of English taxidermy." "Sick, freaky eccentric," I'm tempted to add.
If you're into that sort of thing, you can see more of his, uh, "inspired" work here:
Taxidermy4Cash
I know what you're thinking, you're on the Taxidermy4Cash site all the time, but you've never seen this! Well, you're welcome.

Someone give that set designer a raise.

2006-11-13T10:31:00.000-08:00

If you saw the movie "Lucky Number Slevin," raise your hand. Hopefully, this will make you look batshit insane in your cubicle. Hey, while you're at it, start cooing like a pigeon. Congratulations! You're the crazy person at the office.
But I digress.
The film was decent at best, and the plot was leaking cliche, it was so full of holes, but I was rapt the whole time. In fact, I want to rent it again. Am I Lucy Liu's biggest fan? No. I spent the entire two hours totally agog at the amazing vintage wallpaper. Check it:

It's graphic. It's lurid. The floral print is sickly oversized and surreal. Also, Lucy Liu looks rather fetching in a miniskirt, which helps.
Here's another wall with equally appealing paper:

Please try to ignore the romantic subplot. The real party is in the background.
As I recall, there were some other amazing, non-floral papers featured in the film, as well, but unfortch, there are few stills online that don't feature Josh Hartnett's rippling abs. Not the sort of eye candy that interests this girl.

Anyway, I have a renewed obsession with vintage wallpaper, now. After trolling the interweb for awhile, I came across this amazing, eccentric Aussie designer, Florence Broadhurst. After making a name for herself as a singer and painter, she made a foray into the world of wallpaper design in 1959. The results are breathtaking - large-scale, ostentatious, unapologetic. Check out her work at Signature Prints You can even buy textiles and paper there, and if you do, I will bake you cookies, because you will be my new hero.
A couple favorites:

How sexy would these horses be stampeding through your parlor? (No, I don't have one of those, either.)

This Japanese floral reeks of Auntie Mame's parfum. In a good way, ya know. It's probably Mitsouko by Guerlain.

Can you imagine how gorgeous this mod print would look with some rustic, organic forms juxtaposed against it? Think fallen branch furniture, driftwood, barn beams.
For more sexy wall coverings, go to these places:
Timorous Beasties
Flavor Paper
Twenty2
Palace Papers
Walnut Wallpaper - there's Geoff McFetridge wallpaper here!!!1
Oh, the design has gone and made me all hot and bothered. Need a cold shower.
Cheers to crappy film noir and crazy Aussie designers.

Classical Sass

2006-11-12T20:08:00.000-08:00

Ah, the Inaugural Blog. So many options for content. I could open with a witty autobiography, casting myself in the glowy beam of endearing self-deprecation. Or perhaps I should pen a pointed, hilarious commentary deconstructing some fascinating current event - Britney and K-Fed divorce? Dems take back the House? There's no shortage of comedic brass rings to reach for out there. But, in a display of my true, lazy character, I will rely on my favorite past blog posting to start the ball rolling. So relax, and enjoy the recycled humor.
(previously posted on Myspace)

I Take Requests

In the interest of fulfilling a promise, this blog is about walking a cat on a leash.

A very wise man (Mike) once (on monday) said, "Everytime you see a cat on a leash, it's like the first time." And he was right. It's impossible not to be struck by the sheer inanity of the cat on a leash. Often, a tandem sight is the senile cat lady, who is undoubtedly delighted at the sight of her little puss flailing around at the end of a rope: "Isn't mittens so adorable when she panics?!" You might as well affix handles to the cat and carry it like a purse, because that's the only way you'll get the damn animal to take a stroll with you, and even then you're at high risk for having your eyes clawed out.
The problem, of course, is that cats are feral. All cats. Simply because they shit in a sandbox does not define them as domesticated. Living in a sheltered place, rubbing against a human for warmth, having readily available food - these are simply conveniences that fall under the guise of "domestication."
On a philosophical note, though, I can't help thinking that I'm the crazy old cat lady, sometimes, lashing something entirely unwilling or unnatural onto a tether and dragging it along beside me. Like outfitting your baby brother in a pink dess because you really wanted a sister. Some things simply aren't meant to be. I should just get a dog.