In case of emergency, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device.

Just happened upon this very creepy photo essay of the Titanic, with pictures taken as she embarked on her maiden, and only, voyage.

Is it just my own colored hindsight, or is there something particularly sinister looking about this ship?
The photographs were taken by an Irish theology student, Frank Brown. He was there expressly to document only the first leg of the voyage, from England to Ireland. An American millionaire generously offered to pay for Frank to continue on to New York, but his Jesuit superiors would not allow it.
In addition to photos of the Titanic, documents and news clippings related to the disaster are chronicled in the essay. Go look; be fascinated.
Titanic Photographs

Making me happy!

These random things are keeping me happy, lately. Donations of such items are graciously accepted. You don't want to see me unhappy, do you?

This is probably a boy thing, but I was never very good at gender roles, anyway. Don't read into that.

Molton Brown Recharge Black Pepper Body Wash.
It's spicy. Makes me happy in the morning. Or whenever I get around to showering.
Molton Brown

The latest entry under the topic of Canadian Music Wins:

Tokyo Police Club! If you're anything like me, you'll be dancing around your house in your undies to it. I hope you don't know where I live. Kinda reminds me of Les Savy Fav for some reason, but more dancetastic.
allmusic.com


Um, yeah, so, I really like the graphic design of this can. Yeeahh, my purchase of this product has nothing to do with how I sometimes put off showering... It IS a really cool can.
drugstore.com

Like dystopian tales? 1984? Brave New World?

Yevgeny Zamyatin was envisioning our sordid future long before, in the 1920's. Sadly, neither George Orwell nor Aldous Huxley recognized him as an influence, although it was clear that he was the originator of the genre. I'm actually revisiting this book after reading it several years ago, and it's every bit as good as I remembered.
amazon.com

This wouldn't be a list of Things That Keep Jess Happy without a mention of booze.

The other night, I had a very unique glass of wine - Emilio Bulfon Piculit Neri. This specific grape was thought to be extinct until an old man found it growing in his backyard a few years ago. The Bulfon Winery began to cultivate it, and now it has matured into a really amazing, dry derivitave of Pinot Noir. The grape is particularly small, so the first sip will knock you out with it's intensity. Thanks to Burton at the Kitchen for the tutelage on my new wine fixation.
The Corkscrew

You can thank me later for increasing your level of happiness, too.

!!!

As an unemployed young slacker, one of my favorite hobbies is bothering friends who have jobs while they're at work. One worker bee I can always count on for entertainment is my friend Natalie. She's a junior architect in New York, and her quirky sense of humor never fails to amuse and amaze.
So, I was excited when I got an instant message from Natalie yesterday, in the middle of her work day.

Natalie: You won't believe what I got at lunch today.
(I'm thinking, uh, a burrito. Maybe a really delicious burrito.)
Natalie: I'm going to send you a picture. Wait a sec while I scan it.
(Now I'm thinking, she went to H&M during her break again and got a new shirt. Whoopee.)

I am clearly unimaginative.
Because after a few minutes, this is what she sent me:

Look closer.

Those are taxidermied kittens, poised for a tea party.

Somebody sells postcards of this.

As it turns out, it's the incredibly creepy work of Walter Potter, who has been lovingly dubbed "one of the founding fathers of English taxidermy." "Sick, freaky eccentric," I'm tempted to add.
If you're into that sort of thing, you can see more of his, uh, "inspired" work here:
Taxidermy4Cash
I know what you're thinking, you're on the Taxidermy4Cash site all the time, but you've never seen this! Well, you're welcome.

Someone give that set designer a raise.

If you saw the movie "Lucky Number Slevin," raise your hand. Hopefully, this will make you look batshit insane in your cubicle. Hey, while you're at it, start cooing like a pigeon. Congratulations! You're the crazy person at the office.
But I digress.
The film was decent at best, and the plot was leaking cliche, it was so full of holes, but I was rapt the whole time. In fact, I want to rent it again. Am I Lucy Liu's biggest fan? No. I spent the entire two hours totally agog at the amazing vintage wallpaper. Check it:

It's graphic. It's lurid. The floral print is sickly oversized and surreal. Also, Lucy Liu looks rather fetching in a miniskirt, which helps.
Here's another wall with equally appealing paper:

Please try to ignore the romantic subplot. The real party is in the background.
As I recall, there were some other amazing, non-floral papers featured in the film, as well, but unfortch, there are few stills online that don't feature Josh Hartnett's rippling abs. Not the sort of eye candy that interests this girl.

Anyway, I have a renewed obsession with vintage wallpaper, now. After trolling the interweb for awhile, I came across this amazing, eccentric Aussie designer, Florence Broadhurst. After making a name for herself as a singer and painter, she made a foray into the world of wallpaper design in 1959. The results are breathtaking - large-scale, ostentatious, unapologetic. Check out her work at Signature Prints You can even buy textiles and paper there, and if you do, I will bake you cookies, because you will be my new hero.
A couple favorites:

How sexy would these horses be stampeding through your parlor? (No, I don't have one of those, either.)

This Japanese floral reeks of Auntie Mame's parfum. In a good way, ya know. It's probably Mitsouko by Guerlain.

Can you imagine how gorgeous this mod print would look with some rustic, organic forms juxtaposed against it? Think fallen branch furniture, driftwood, barn beams.
For more sexy wall coverings, go to these places:
Timorous Beasties
Flavor Paper
Twenty2
Palace Papers
Walnut Wallpaper - there's Geoff McFetridge wallpaper here!!!1
Oh, the design has gone and made me all hot and bothered. Need a cold shower.
Cheers to crappy film noir and crazy Aussie designers.

Classical Sass

Ah, the Inaugural Blog. So many options for content. I could open with a witty autobiography, casting myself in the glowy beam of endearing self-deprecation. Or perhaps I should pen a pointed, hilarious commentary deconstructing some fascinating current event - Britney and K-Fed divorce? Dems take back the House? There's no shortage of comedic brass rings to reach for out there. But, in a display of my true, lazy character, I will rely on my favorite past blog posting to start the ball rolling. So relax, and enjoy the recycled humor.
(previously posted on Myspace)

I Take Requests

In the interest of fulfilling a promise, this blog is about walking a cat on a leash.


A very wise man (Mike) once (on monday) said, "Everytime you see a cat on a leash, it's like the first time." And he was right. It's impossible not to be struck by the sheer inanity of the cat on a leash. Often, a tandem sight is the senile cat lady, who is undoubtedly delighted at the sight of her little puss flailing around at the end of a rope: "Isn't mittens so adorable when she panics?!" You might as well affix handles to the cat and carry it like a purse, because that's the only way you'll get the damn animal to take a stroll with you, and even then you're at high risk for having your eyes clawed out.
The problem, of course, is that cats are feral. All cats. Simply because they shit in a sandbox does not define them as domesticated. Living in a sheltered place, rubbing against a human for warmth, having readily available food - these are simply conveniences that fall under the guise of "domestication."
On a philosophical note, though, I can't help thinking that I'm the crazy old cat lady, sometimes, lashing something entirely unwilling or unnatural onto a tether and dragging it along beside me. Like outfitting your baby brother in a pink dess because you really wanted a sister. Some things simply aren't meant to be. I should just get a dog.