On my honor, I will try

Like many young girls, I was Brownie. No, not a chocolately confection, silly, but a Girl Scout in training, dressed like a short, skinny cafe latte and armed to the teeth with a sashful of badges. It was a blissful time. My mother was the troop leader. We whittled sticks together. No one cared that we had to say "God" in the pledge. We learned about wildlife. Thin mints.
Imagine my joyous nostalgia, then, when I spied the following at the Chelsea Flea Market:

The Brownie Handbook instructs that the pin remain inverted until the scout performs her Good Deed of the Day. Once her civic duty is completed, the Brownie may reattach the pin right-side up to indicate that her title is well deserved.
It also makes for a nifty accessory.
For two dollars, you can't beat that with a whittled stick.
New pins available online at GirlScouts.Org

Boys make passes at girls who have glasses

Few things excite a lady like stemware. I don't know - I've heard rumors about diamonds (OMG!), but nothing really compares to the unique delight of buying some fragile, sparkly glasses. Candy!*

Rigi glass from Bodum, $15
Because vintage stemware is so ridiculously expensive here in NY (dicks), I was agog over the new stemware choices for the season compiled by New York magazine. A lot of vintage flair, and most without the retro-tarded price tag.
Designgasm! Go buy four or forty. You never know when a rabid pack of thirsty aesthetes might drop in...
*DO NOT EAT

confession

As an ambivalent agnostic (that is, ambivalent even about my own agnosticism), I usually have no interest in confessing my sins, as I tend to regard sinning as wholly subjective.

That said, I feel kind of bad about berating that old lady tonight.

But she was totally asking for it. Nasty old coot.

My return from noblogsland.

Wowee zowee, what a year. I moved across a country and began my indentured servitude in Corporateworld (tm), thus abandoning all artistic/extracurricular pursuits in favor of being a responsible adult.
It turns out, there's no such thing!
So I'm back to blogging. In 2008, I vow to increase blogtivity, amuse and delight (myself), and most importantly, include more photos of dogs.
Tail wags!
Jess

Eureka!

Okay. I'm really excited about this. This may be the best idea I've ever had.

So.

You know how sometimes, you really want to have a snowball fight, but maybe it's not winter? Or you just don't want to find your other glove? Perhaps the idea appeals to you, but the cold, unpleasant reality of snow repels you?

Why not have a SnoBall(tm) fight?!?!!!

Bring it.

Tell Your Children Not to Walk My Way

Ah, I remember climbing that stage for the first time, full of trepidation and a pint of Guinness, my vocal cords anxious and tight. I'd been convinced by some aging metalhead to participate in a duet. I plead my naivete: "I'm not sure, I've never done this before...," but was narrowly convinced by his promise: "You'll be fine. You can choose the song. Any song."
So it happened that for my first stab at karaoke, I sang "Mother" by Danzig.
It was glorious.
Needless to say, I almost lost control of my bladder when I first saw these:

The Three Faces of Danzig collectible dolls.
Perfection.
You've got your old school Misfits Danzig; the blood-drenched tribute to the "Samhain" album cover Danzig; and the man-beast who brought you "Mother," just plain Glenn Danzig.
At $70 dollars a pop, these Japanese-made dolls don't come cheap, but I can think of one girl who would be ecstatic to find one under her Christmukkah tree. (HINT: It's me!)
Get'm here: The 7th House

Why Japanese schoolchildren are smarter than you.

Pitagora Suicchi.

This is a compilation of Rube Goldberg devices that were created as transitions between segments of a puppet show. Called "Pitagora Suicchi," or "Pythagorean Switch," the Japanese children's show has been airing since 2002 on Japan's equivalent to PBS (NHK). It's mesmerizing. I could watch it all day.
Ok, as a girl who grew up with a friendly vampire teaching me how to count, I feel cheated.
On a tangentially related note, remember when Shaquille O'Neal proclaimed that his game was "like the Pythagorean Theorem - no one has an answer"? Sigh.